Saturday, August 20, 2005

My Other Mother, Natalia

Really special lady, met her at 17 when I was so sorta lost in the world, didn't feel like their was a whole lot of people out there on my side, very strange time in my life, and she took me in welcomed Peet, supported us both in our efforts and just showed me a different kind of live that I had ever been exposed to, she was so cultured, and successful, but so genuine and true to herself, was amazing influence on me, changed my perspective from what I had always known. Took my to me first renaissance fair in costume, had D&D figure lining walls, had super Nintendo and Red Dwarf movies, she was so different, and I love the feeling she created within my that it was OK to be different, I grew up in very conformist social circle and always stood out, was rough and parents always encouraged me to conform too. So when I was the most lost about who I was and how I fit in. She was like a wind of acceptance, with so much to offer, couldn't have asked for bigger blessing on my life than meeting her.

Natalia, if you read this, I always fear you don't know how truly important to my life you have been and will always be. I feel that because I am so bad and keeping in touch you might mistaken that for how much I care for you. I am horrible about calling, writing, emailing, I know it. This blog at these post with 3 entries now, is a feat of consistency for me. I am known to get bored and move on.

But you are the woman in my life who has given my the greatest personal strength, you have provided more guidance without saying a word, than all the lectures in my life combined have offered. With the examples I had of life before you I feared it, but you created a picture of open accepting respectful love, it changed me forever. Helped me tear done walls I had built up to protect myself, you created an example I sought to replicate how how people should be treated.

Without you in my life, I would live a very different life, not one I would experience happiness the way I have because of the love you showed me.

I hope everyone has someone to love them in the way you have loved me. I hope everyone loves the someone the way you love me. I hope to be able to show you someday how much you have meant to me. You are one of the voices in my head when I need guidance or counsel, you voice is there, your example leads, your heart loves.

I carry you with me always, and even though I might not call, I love you and always have and always will. Thank you for coming into my life.

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