Thursday, October 22, 2015

636 Days

The total number of days between Friday, January 24th, 2014 and Thursday, October 22nd, 2015 is 636 days. So you say? What is the significance of the date 1/24/14? That was the date of my last published blog post and today. That is the number of days I silenced my voice.

My blog is the place where I can dump my thoughts and if someone cares they are there to find. It exists to provide perspective about me. I am a very public person, human yet unfaltered by the fear of examination. I share my life pretty openly on the internet. My voice through my blog is one of the purest forms of me there is, unfiltered Liz Cooper.

So what you say brought me out of the moth balls before the 650 days mark? I have been going through a transition, a period of introspection and evaluation. Time to take stock again, see what’s changed, what do I want to Keep doing, Stop doing or Start doing. Part of this process has made see I stopped blogging and what did the blogging represent for me and is that something I hold valuable and, therefore, need corrective action.

So here I am trying to figure out what value this exercise holds for me.

I am a naturally empathetic person; that tends to present in me as I care more about the feelings and comfort of others than myself in most instances. I experience a great deal of satisfaction from the process of improving the life/work state of others. Taking present day bottlenecks and stumbling block and blending them seamless into activities you don’t even register doing, is perfection.

The downside of this equation, I tend to sacrifice my own needs. This is a strange catch 22 situation, where I sacrifice my own needs, to achieve personal satisfaction. But if I frame it in the idea of addiction, you can begin to see the unhealthiness this situation can present.

What the hell does all that have to do with my blog?

My blog is one space where whatever I want to say comes first and however I feel comes first. My blog is the one place in my life it can truly feel ok to be selfish.

I guess that’s why it is so easy for me to stop, I see it as selfish, and that naturally falls against my nature.

Even now I am starting to find reasons why I should be moving on, that I am greedy with my time.

I am a passionate person. Without an outlet to contain my passion, I will be at risk for overload, with a short fuse.

Blogging helps me feel like I have been heard for some reason, even if nobody even reads it. I have expressed and examined the ideas and feelings. I have created a resolution.

To be a better version of myself, I need to be able to reign in my passion to a level that is digestible and fascinating to others. Blogging helps me modulate my passion. Therefore, Blogging helps me be a better version of myself. I will start blogging regularly.

I commit for two blog posts a month minimum for the remainder of 2015 and through 2016, that is 18 blog posts by 12/31/2016. I challenged anyone reading to hold me accountable, Email me if I’m slacking, and you noticed.

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