Sunday, June 18, 2017

Through my Father's eyes.

My Dad, Earl Jenkins was a good man. He passed away over 17 years ago. We weren't close but with age, I have understood our relationship better. He chose his moments and his gestured counted. The 1 day I absolutely needed him to show up for me, he did.
Never when I ran out of my house for the 2nd time at 17, did I think my Dad would take off on foot after me.That gesture defined my relationship with me the very best. Push come to shove, he would do whatever he could for me.
He wanted the best for me and challenged my wit and intellect. He was an amazing debate partner and taught me to hold my own and fight for my perspective.
My daughter Kayla, was the 1 of his grandchildren he met and she was 1 when he passed. I wish I had more time with him, I wish I had gotten to be an adult in his eyes and gotten to learn everything he had to offer.
I wish I was able to see when he was alive that it is not always our choices that dictate our actions, families are complicated.
Above all, I hope he is proud of me and the woman I have become. I often hear this song in my head and think about what my Dad would say to me if he was here to answer my questions and hear my stories

I hope if he looks down on me it is swollen with pride and that he takes some joy in the fact that he is part of my story. I can say without a doubt, I am proud to be his daughter and am grateful for all he was able to share with me. Thank you, David Earl Jenkins for allowing the broken little girl I was when you adopted me into your life

Friday, June 16, 2017

My voice

I recently got the opportunity to test the saying, “You don’t appreciate what you have until it’s gone.” I have been dancing around a phase I am about to enter for awhile. My fears have held me back, from owning my story, from sharing my journeys and celebrating my victories.
When recently my main social media account, Facebook became inaccessible. When days went by, then weeks without being able to gain re-entry I feared that I had missed the chance. I started to grief that opportunity had been knocking, and I had let anxiety prevent me from opening the door.

As part of a class I took, I was challenged to write a personal manifesto; I’m sharing to here to create a point of reference. I am taking this opportunity to ask you the reader to hold me accountable for staying the course.


I have stated my intentions, and I intend to follow them. The clarity of thought around the idea that I want to fear regret more than failure.
I see my authenticity as a mean to tie me to so many. I have had such a colorful adventure through life that it still astonishes me sometimes. I think my sharing can help others who share some of my struggles feel less alone. I have lived very ashamedly and let it lock me out of connections.
I want to encourage wholehearted living, so I need to start living by example. How can I ask you to be vulnerable and happy with yourself and not identify my battles on this front? By taking a step into the vulnerability spotlight, I am extending an invitation to join me.
I am choosing to let my integrity guide me.
As defined by Brene Brown, “Integrity is choosing Courage over Comfort; choosing what’s Right over what Fun, Fast or Easy; and choosing to practice our values rather than simply professing them.”

I am going to be sharing more with everyone, more blogs, streaming and video blogs will be a part of this effort to expose both myself and Gamers for Good and to deepen and broaden our efforts. I will live the more generous and courageous version of my life.

I’m off to submit my talk for PAX West, here’s to step 1!

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Monday, March 07, 2016

Daring Greatly: Personal Manifesto

Just finished up Daring Greatly class with Brene Brown, I would recommend to anyone. Last exercise was to make a personal manifesto to remind myself of who I am and how I want to make a difference.

I have always held what you write down as a commitment, so this was harder to do for me than I anticipated.So easy to fall into "wants to" or "will try" to write so many active statements really does take a mental adjustment. To me they are still wants or goals, the activity of writing them in the present as if I am there already does truly have an impact.

Sharing is part of the goals I have for myself, I have experienced many things, good and bad. Had to takes leaps of faith and did some reckless base jumping, so I have learned some lessons. Way more than even I have realized, as they still happen every day :)

I am putting this put into the universe to make clear what I want and desire from myself. It also allows me to share a window into my soul and an invitation to engage when you need an ear, to ask my about something you know I have been through/done and to BEG for you to call me on my shit when I am being untrue.

Without further ado, my personal manifesto:

I am a woman with a big heart and a passion for people. 
The values that guide me in my effort to show up and be seen are generosity and courage. 
I own my story and use it as a point of connection for those I want to serve. 
I love myself by accepting my own imperfections as the stepping stones on my journey that they are. 
I know that I am enough and I am loved. 
I dare greatly by opening my heart and dropping the walls that make things safe. 
I am on this planet to grow through challenging myself and truly connecting with others. 
In my heart of hearts, I know there is nothing I can't do. 
I stand for not only daring to dream, but having the balls to take action.



Wednesday, November 04, 2015

Gamer Shame has prevented Females from identifying as Gamers

http://www.polygon.com/2015/11/4/9669110/pew-research-center-female-gamers-statistics

Just keeping it real guys:)

This article hints at an issue I am always talking about with girl gamers,
“42 percent of the study's respondents who had game systems — such as "Xboxes and PlayStations," the report says —identified as female. A slightly lower number of men claimed to have their own consoles — 37 percent.”
But…..
"The ESA's survey showed a gender disparity skewing toward men, with 59 percent of its male respondents calling themselves gamers as opposed to 41 percent of women polled. "

I know TONS of women who play games, but will/do not identify as gamers. Few reasons I have been given:
*Not a part of the counter-culture of "GAMERS"
* I only play (whatever 2-3 games)
*I only have a 3DS, that doesn't count
* My (Spouse, Partner, friend, etc) shamed me the one time I did say I was a gamer.

I cannot STAND this. Gamer shaming has to stop; WTH is the point?

Many of the women I know play the same games, and they don't even know it because they are not comfortable sharing.

Time to stand up and be proud gamers. I don't ever say I am a GREAT gamer; I have my moments. I LOVE games, though. I read about them. I dress in them. I go to game conventions to see others who love them. I co-taught a class about them. I take classes about them. I am learning to make them.


I am a GAMER!!! I am a female and still a GAMER, I feel no need to say I am a female gamer. Time for the term GAMER to be ambiguous, let’s take the sex and gender away from GAMER, so we are all represented.

We can then begin to talk about the 21% of gamers who identified as neither male nor female.

Thursday, October 22, 2015

636 Days

The total number of days between Friday, January 24th, 2014 and Thursday, October 22nd, 2015 is 636 days. So you say? What is the significance of the date 1/24/14? That was the date of my last published blog post and today. That is the number of days I silenced my voice.

My blog is the place where I can dump my thoughts and if someone cares they are there to find. It exists to provide perspective about me. I am a very public person, human yet unfaltered by the fear of examination. I share my life pretty openly on the internet. My voice through my blog is one of the purest forms of me there is, unfiltered Liz Cooper.

So what you say brought me out of the moth balls before the 650 days mark? I have been going through a transition, a period of introspection and evaluation. Time to take stock again, see what’s changed, what do I want to Keep doing, Stop doing or Start doing. Part of this process has made see I stopped blogging and what did the blogging represent for me and is that something I hold valuable and, therefore, need corrective action.

So here I am trying to figure out what value this exercise holds for me.

I am a naturally empathetic person; that tends to present in me as I care more about the feelings and comfort of others than myself in most instances. I experience a great deal of satisfaction from the process of improving the life/work state of others. Taking present day bottlenecks and stumbling block and blending them seamless into activities you don’t even register doing, is perfection.

The downside of this equation, I tend to sacrifice my own needs. This is a strange catch 22 situation, where I sacrifice my own needs, to achieve personal satisfaction. But if I frame it in the idea of addiction, you can begin to see the unhealthiness this situation can present.

What the hell does all that have to do with my blog?

My blog is one space where whatever I want to say comes first and however I feel comes first. My blog is the one place in my life it can truly feel ok to be selfish.

I guess that’s why it is so easy for me to stop, I see it as selfish, and that naturally falls against my nature.

Even now I am starting to find reasons why I should be moving on, that I am greedy with my time.

I am a passionate person. Without an outlet to contain my passion, I will be at risk for overload, with a short fuse.

Blogging helps me feel like I have been heard for some reason, even if nobody even reads it. I have expressed and examined the ideas and feelings. I have created a resolution.

To be a better version of myself, I need to be able to reign in my passion to a level that is digestible and fascinating to others. Blogging helps me modulate my passion. Therefore, Blogging helps me be a better version of myself. I will start blogging regularly.

I commit for two blog posts a month minimum for the remainder of 2015 and through 2016, that is 18 blog posts by 12/31/2016. I challenged anyone reading to hold me accountable, lcooper@gamersforgood.com. Email me if I’m slacking, and you noticed.

Friday, January 24, 2014

20 adjectives that describe who I REALLY am.

Self discovery exercise: write 20 adjectives that I feel really describe me:
1. Resourceful
2. Determined
3. Sensitive
4. Creative
5. Eager
6. Insecure
7. Stubborn
8. Caring
9. Helpful
10. Enthusiastic
11. Persuasive 
12. Brave
13. Analytical
14. Organized
15. Loyal
16. Imaginative
17. Hopeful
18. Unique
19. Passionate
20. Curious 

Strange to do, but really telling to try and look at something from many different angles before even attempting to pull the information together into something that makes sense and has purpose.

To thine own self be true.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Survey of Character Strengths

As part of the women's club I am a part of this year each month there is a reading , and then activities followed by a group meeting all with same theme. We have started 1st module, self discovery. Last week we got reading, this week is activities.

As part of the rediscovering myself theme, I was asked to take a character survey. The survey reveal which 5 character strengths are top of my list. My top 5.


Your Top Strength
Bravery and valor
You are a courageous person who does not shrink from threat, challenge, difficulty, or pain. You speak up for what is right even if there is opposition. You act on your convictions.
Your Second Strength
Creativity, ingenuity, and originality
Thinking of new ways to do things is a crucial part of who you are. You are never content with doing something the conventional way if a better way is possible.
Your Third Strength
Kindness and generosity
You are kind and generous to others, and you are never too busy to do a favor. You enjoy doing good deeds for others, even if you do not know them well.
Your Fourth Strength
Love of learning
You love learning new things, whether in a class or on your own. You have always loved school, reading, and museums-anywhere and everywhere there is an opportunity to learn.
Your Fifth Strength
Curiosity and interest in the world
You are curious about everything. You are always asking questions, and you find all subjects and topics fascinating. You like exploration and discovery.

Will be back to write more on these.

Thursday, January 09, 2014

And I am?

OK, so in this effort to get to know the real me I am starting a list. This list will contain things I have not ever been really open about. I have made small efforts at things, but never really give in public before.

Some of these are really embarrassing to me, but who the heck cares. Tease me, I am grown enough to not really care.

I am ready to come out and see what is the sum of those things. What can I do to make my life one  I love living. I am so grateful for the life I have. I just want to find a way to be a happy, healthy contributing part of my community. Any advice or ideas to share with me, use comments. A lot of you have experience sections of my life. anyone who has been around awhile knows a lot about me.

  1. I give more value to the opinions of others than one should allow. I rate your opinions higher my own.
  2. I LOVE to research!
  3. I am a Twihard.
  4. I LOVE music.
  5. I love checklists.
  6. I enjoy art of public speaking in both performing and viewing roles.
  7. I LOVE video games. I love their merchandise, their fans, their events.
  8. I love to travel
  9. I like conventions and trade shows, lots if them. Cars, Comics, Steampunk, health, parenting, women's, music, pop culture. Luv them all.
  10. I like costuming
  11. I made up my own words for cursing when my kids were little. God Bless America, frabber nabbers, fudge biscuits. 
  12. I have a hard time listening to music without singing along.
  13. I LOVE to write.
  14. I BELIEVE in service to others. 
  15. I enjoy entertainment/celebrity gossip.
  16. I am very detail oriented, I see more than others
  17. I am very empathetic, I am very effected by others feelings.
  18. I am very competitive
  19. I HATE traffic. Stop and Go kills me.
  20. I LOVE to drive.
  21. I like to support the underdog.
  22. I am UBER connected. Unplugged sounds so strange to me.
  23. I made a website about myself, to try and get hired at Riot Games.
  24. I have started the long term topic blog process once each year for a few years.
  25. I have a very ADDICTIVE prone personality. I can get very addicted very EASILY. 
  26. I am overthinker
  27. I LOVE working with small children.
  28. I enjoy working with Teens in need.
  29. I HATE hospitals. 
  30. I am intrinsically curious.
  31. I am extremely brave.

Thursday, January 02, 2014

New Years

I feel too young to say that I have had a ritual for  New Year's Eve that has remained unbroken for 20 years. Peet and I both have. It make look slightly different some years, but the end result has always been the same. Peet and I always spend the strike of midnight together. Whether we are shoulder to shoulder prepping for the midnight kiss or separated by oceans and thousands of miles, we have ALWAYS been together in some capacity when the clock strikes 12.

It might not sounds significant until you realize what this has actually looked like for us at times. There have been more than a few years where it took heroic efforts to be sure this remained true.

During both Peet's deployments overseas, he has managed to wrangle himself into being in in the right place in line for the phone to be sure he is talking with me as midnight struck in my timezone,which for each deployment was different  :) The last one when 2005 changed to 2006,that night it required some bartering and squad assisance to keep our tradition.

One year, it was me who was away from Peet at home. Running a New Year's Eve event across the state. I was frantically running to get far enough from the music and noise of the crowd so I could share that moment with him.

No argument, no communications difficulty, literally nothing has prevented Peet and I since our first New Year's Eve in high school from ensuring that the New Years tradition of being together as midnight strikes brings luck to your relationship in the next year.

One year, the phone conversation we had at midnight was the first we had talked in almost a week, and it brought us back together.

So what you say, who cares?

The fact that no matter what our circumstances have been, we have been willing to make this happen each year,is a great reminder to us both. It reminds us that anything we want, that we truly desires we can achieve if we work for it. That the things we desires are worth making the effort for. We also get to see that sometimes things are easy and sometimes they are difficult, but they are still achievable.

Getting to start the New Year with not only the love of my life but also the strength and renewal this tradition holds is priceless. So to each of you and yours, I send New Year's wishes that you will realize what you want is only out of reach, if you aren't willing to work to get to it. Let 2014 be the year we all allow our dreams and efforts to achieve them result in the best year of our lives :)

Friday, September 06, 2013

Never say Never!

I met another individual yesterday who I was so comfortable around and I feel like truly understood me and could see me transparently both strengths and weaknesses and I was not at all intimidated in his presence.

Strange thing is he was able to articulate things about me, I would not have been able to say clearer if at all.

I know I sound like a total "fanboy"  but Riot truly does have some of the most amazing people I have had to get to meet working together towards a wonderful player focused based goal.

I hope that I get a chance one day to work with people as amazing as those that Riot has gathered.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Huge fistbump goes out to Riot Games!

Something amazing is happening here in Santa Monica and, holy cow, we are apart of it.
Being on the older side of the general population of game developers and families here at Riot Games means we know what game development looks like, honeymoon period is long gone this isn't our first rodeo,things are a little bit different here and we are ALL in!

Like actually, we're in!

Riot Games and it's People program are an amazing collection of treasures I as a game developer's spouse have ever seen. Not since my days as an ARMY spouse have I seen a support system that is actively been grown and strengthened. Not only is Riot creating a very special experience for our significant others in the company culture, but they have an experience for us as families too. Kids activities, Holiday celebrations, incentive opportunities, and excursions we are apart of the picture, and not like they LET us come, like they are encourage us to dig it and participate in the planning and running of family activities. They have created a portal for us to meet online and encouraged turning that online social kindling into real world friendships with local activities and meetups.

I have been apart of some very different organizations as part of my marriage to Peet Cooper, Lead Artist at Riot Games. From the small studio environment to large corporate ones each has it's pluses and minuses, you decide what matters most to you, right? Riot Games is doing it's own thing in every way and  the results of those efforts is that Riot Games as an organization is AWESOME! They don't make you choose your career over your family, they are creating a different ways to make sure item #5 on the Riot Manifesto stays true.

Riot Games is still young as a company, so things are still fluid nothing so set in stone that when needed things can be adjusted. The pace is fast and very exciting and the product makes it easy to be proud of being apart of the Riot Games community.

The front page of the company website sums it up best:
WE ARE RIOT

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Happy Thanksgiving???



                   Many years and countless failures were all spent in my training to prepare a traditional Thanksgiving feast. The steps included in the traditional Thanksgiving included; Roasting a turkey(It should be aromatic, tender, juicy and have a crisp perfectly browned skin), hand making stuffing ( A four day process that started with cutting bread into cubes, and ends with a perfect balance of moist and dry, chewy and crunchy, and savory and sweet.) and pumpkin pies from scratch( A fresh pumpkin to begin, resulting in a butter flakey crust filled perfectly with handmade pumpkin pie filling. Baked until slightly firm and the crust sticks perfect to the edges and just browns at the very edge.) They were all just part of the lessons I went through in my family holiday meal preparation training. Little did I know the first Thanksgiving meal I would spend with my soon to be new family I was entirely unprepared for?
“Are you ready to go yet?” Patrick, my future brother in law asks. I frantically am running around grabbing things and shoving them into my purse. I am just slightly frazzled, trying to figure out how to prepare a holiday meal with only a single burner and a mini fridge. Can it be done? I ask in my head.” Almost ready.” I yell back to him. My eyes scan the room, trying to remember if there is anything else I need to grab before we go. We currently live in a one room motel room, by we I mean; Peet my boyfriend, Patrick his brother, Jackie, their Mom and Chris their Dad. Scanning the room you can see how very crowded we are. The room is about 20ftx12ft, there are 3 queen beds, 3 TV’s, one closet, 1 dresser and a mini fridge. Then there is the bathroom, which also doubles as a kitchen somewhat, it has the single burner and pan as well as the microwave. Crowded I guess was stating it mildly.
The room in my parent’s house, I left to come stay with them was half this sized and meant for only me. I had a room full of fine furniture and was not the slightest bit crowded, well at least not physically. We all make choices in life and I made mine, but it has left me in a world outside the one I know. I have gone from a world of opulence and abundance to one of necessary means.
I am fairly sure at this point I have what I need so I head out the door; being very sure I have locked it properly. Locking the door can be the difference between keeping the stuff you own and giving it away to whomever happens to try your door knob. There is absolutely no sense of community in a rundown motel where people live instead of stay a few nights.
Patrick and I head out to gather what we can for three of us to have a Thanksgiving dinner. Jackie has to work and Chris in uninterested in being part of a family meal. So it is just us three, to be honest Peet and Patrick are only going along with this to try and be nice to me, they could careless as well about Thanksgiving. I guess it can be hard in times of discontent to find things to be thankful for, but for me it is tradition. I think it is one they will appreciate; every situation has something to be thankful for.
Peet is working and we want to get things together while he is at work. I put together a list of modified items that I think I can pull off with the microwave and burner, but am still trying to figure out how to manage turkey properly.
“Wow, there are a lot of people here.” says Patrick. I say, “Welcome to grocery shopping on Thanksgiving.” Grocery shopping on Thanksgiving is never fun, especially when you are trying to buy the same things everyone else is trying to buy. “Ok, so we have a handful of items to buy and only so much $$$, let’s do this”, I mumble to myself. I have never had to combine so many restrictions into one meal, we have what I want to make, then there is what I can actually make given the available facilities and then there is what I can afford to buy and can possibly make. My head is spinning, running combinations through, my head, ranking importance of yams, to corn in comparison to macaroni and then stuffing. Patrick asks,” Are you sure this is really worth all the drama to you? We can just go to Taco Bell.”
“I appreciate your thoughtfulness, but I am sure. Can you grab the last gravy can over there?” I say. As if moving a herd of cows through mud, we make our way across the grocery store, slowly. After running all the combinations through my head and grabbing items through angry crowds, I think I am done. We head to the registers to pay. We are bombarded at the register by donation opportunities, donate to this and donate to that. We finally are walking through the sliding glass doors out of the store.
“I don’t think I will ever understand the fuss over Holiday meals.” Says Patrick,” It is just one meal.” I feel bad knowing I will be struggling to pull off this meal at all, and it will be nowhere close to what I am capable of producing given facilities and budget I could do much better, but I don’t want to point that out so I simply say,” Taking time out of the rush of life, to spend time preparing food together and then sitting around eating it together, give people a chance to enjoy one another’s company and appreciate each other’s help. I appreciate you coming with me shopping, we got to hang out and do something different.”
We get back to the motel after walking the 2 miles back from the store. We both start taking items out and trying to arrange what needs to be refrigerated in the mini fridge. We get all the ingredients sorted out, but something in my head is standing out as missing. I am unable to figure out what though.
Peet gets back from work and walks in the door, “Is the food ready?”
“I don’t know are you done cooking it?” I say back to him.
“Ha, Ha, Ha” he says. He starts looking through all the treasures we gathered at the store earlier. He looks up at me and says,” I don’t see any Turkey.”
“That’s what missing, I thought something was missing when we were putting stuff away, but couldn’t figure out what.” I state.
Peet jumps up, “Let me change and we will go get some.” I begin to panic a little though while he is getting dressed. It is now 2:00pm on Thanksgiving; most of the stores are probably closed. Patrick says he doesn’t want to go back out one trip was enough for him, but Peet talks him into joining our adventure.
We head out once again, but this time on a mission, to find turkey for Thanksgiving dinner. We head back to the area Patrick and I were in earlier but the two major grocery stores there are already closed. So we decide to try a few of the smaller markets we know around town and see if we have any luck.
3 little markets later things are not looking so good; we are not sure where to check next. We begin to start to head back home on the brink of giving up and we see a small deli, so we decide to check it out. We are luck they have turkey, well turkey lunchmeat style, it will have to do. Rejoicing in our find, Peet is skipping down the street overjoyed. I am not so sure about how a block of unsliced lunchmeat will go with Thanksgiving, but Peet is a great example of how to take pleasure in the small things. Our mission was accomplished, so we head home.
The meal prepared and partaken of that day was by no means the best I have ever had, but the day it’s self the memories and the lessons learned, make that Thanksgiving one of the more important ones I have had so far. Thanksgiving used to mean elaborate meals and decorations, that day taught me I was only opening myself up to part of the reason for the day. Experiencing Thanksgiving in the life of another social class is a wonderful opportunity to see what really matters about how you celebrate and what is just fluff. I still prepare a big elaborate meal every year, but now we invite over all the new folks or those without a place to go and we meet new people as well as bond with those we already love. That day started a new tradition changing the focus of the holiday from the meal to the people.